I just returned from a retreat from Tulum Mexico where I participated in a five day plant medicine ceremony with Tepezcohuite. There are many different kinds of plant medicines out there, but this specific one is a psychoactive entheogen that is smoked through a glass pipe. It comes from the bark, roots, and leaves of the Mimosa tree. It is boiled down to form a resin that is then smoked. The plant releases DMT, which is a molecule found in all plants and is also produced in our brains.
I am sure most of you have heard, or watched the multiple documentaries out there regarding the therapeutic benefits that these plants have. They alter your state of consciousness and allow for you to see what otherwise the mind does not allow you to see. We are living in a mind dominated culture and much of what we know and believe is nothing more than passed down thoughts and beliefs, many of which have negative psychological effects, causing stress, anxiety, a feeling of separateness and loneliness.
Plant medicines such as Tepezcohuite help us return home. It allows us to go into our infinite intelligent body and mind and witness what we are. It gives us a glimpse into our true essence, which is pure creative consciousness. We are not just our mind’s thoughts and emotions. The experiences we can have with psychedelics can be liberating and life changing. I know my experiences have been.
The other major benefit, and this was the intent of my own journey, is that it rewires your brain and undoes old negative programming; such as old traumas, or events that are still trapped in your body. Through the process of rewiring the brain the negative trapped energies leave your body for good. This helps create less circumstances in life that bother you. For example, something that angered you before may no longer have the same effect. You become more calm and at peace. An overall better well-being occurs. You create more space in your body; you become less tense. You fear less.
I will now talk about my own experiences during this retreat. I will talk about each session’s theme as best I can. The medicine works very fast and only lasts between 10–20 minutes. Much of the experience’s content cannot be verbalized and understood by our normal state of mind. Again, something greatly more intelligent is running us and the universe. The medicine takes you into this intelligence, this creative infinite consciousness.
The First Night — The Cellular Purge
The first ceremony was administered privately between myself and two energy healers, who we will name Jenesse and Jenn. Since there was a heavy downpour, we held the ceremony in one of their private rooms. We sat around in a small circle and did a ten minute guided meditation and some deep breathing, followed by a blessing of the medicine and spirit. I then set my intention. The medicine gives you what you need most and what I came there looking for was healing.
So here we go. I put the pipe in my mouth and Jenesse lit the resin with her blow torch of a lighter. I took a slow inhale that lasted approximately 10 seconds. I held the smoke in and collapsed face down in a childlike pose position. This is a recommended way to work with Tepez for best results.
What comes next is what is sometimes called the waiting room. It is just like the waiting room going to see the doctor, except in this one, instead of magazines and other patients, you are alone and you’re watching a screen of kaleidoscope string of colors.
The waiting room only lasted a few seconds before I was totally immersed in what appeared to be my own inner body. It was very clear, bright, alive and again intelligent. The profoundness of it was that I was no longer in thought, but in the actual intelligence. I was this intelligence on the deepest level; way beyond just mind. I began to be ripped apart from within. It was as if I was detoxing and purging from a microlevel. I was letting go of “stuff”. I am not sure exactly what, but it was a surrender to something. It was intense and my body was contorting every which way. At least that’s what Jenn and Jenesse told me afterwards. During this intense period not much of our standard five senses seem to be working. It’s as if a new sense and a new perspective opens up.
After the deep plunge within; what I assume to be my soul, I came back into a more aware state. I was back in my five sensory mind and experiencing an energy field in me and all around me. I opened my eyes; everything was vibrating and everything had energy . I felt really calm. I felt lighter and I had a smile on my face.
The next day I woke up feeling good. I had a small breakfast and talked with the group. We shared some stories and swam in the cenote. It was a relaxing morning. The day was full of private ceremonies, so I was also doing a lot of waiting around. It wasn’t going to be my turn until the evening. I had some feelings of anticipation, but overall I felt calm and at peace.
Second Night — Presence within the body
The second ceremony was administered the second evening privately by Jenn. It took place outside in the ceremonial tent, which could fit 15 people comfortably. The rain had stopped and the temperature was hot and humid. There is something to be said about the energy and mood in the jungle and hearing all the sounds from the jungle creatures.
My intention for this ceremony was to become more present in daily living. Our mind, specifically our ego, likes to pull us out of the present moment and into the future, or past. Living too much in the future and past creates much of the mental disorders out there. It creates anxiety, anticipation, worry, stress and ultimately fear. I wanted to become better at being present.
I hit the pipe three times during this 90 minute ceremony. Each time I entered the waiting room and remained there. I was present in the waiting room and in my body. There was no deep dive into my soul this time. During this state of being present with the medicine and my body, I could feel my inner body’s energy and vibration. My five senses were heightened. I could hear the animals and insects of the jungle more intensely and I could feel the heat within my body even more; I was sweating. The medicine gives you what you need and I needed to be present.
Day Three Group Ceremony — The Blueprint of The Soul
We all gathered in the tent first thing in the morning. There were eight of us. The difference between private and group ceremonies is that in a group you pick up the energy from others. This can be good, or not so good depending upon the individual’s in the group and their energy.. We had great energy in this group.
We started like we start every session; with deep breathing followed by a blessing. We all went around and stated our intentions. My intention for this session was again to heal. Deep down inside this is always my underlying intent.
I went in deep during this session and words cannot do justice for this experience. There was no waiting room this time. It was just an instant plunge. It’s as if the medicine knew not to send me deep the night before because it was saving itself, or myself for today.
What I was experiencing during this ceremony was as if looking at some sort of a blueprint. I believe it was the blueprint of my soul. In this blueprint, I experienced oneness. I was no longer Jeremy, but was everything. It was as if I was all of creation moving and manifesting in different forms. Everything was moving and shifting very fast. Again, it was intelligent and deliberate. It had a purpose. It had a plan. It was organized. It was a blueprint.
Day Four — The Healers
Day four was a private ceremony with Jenn and Jenesse back in the tent. It was in the evening and it was hot and humid. The theme for this ceremony was much like day two’s ceremony. There was no deep plunge. There was no blueprint. There was no purge. In fact, much of the evening I was totally present and aware of my mind and body.
The one factor that was unique during this session was that Jenesse played her sound bowl, pretty much the entire time. This, more than the medicine, sent me into a higher state of consciousness. My entire body was vibrating and I felt energy moving through it. Jen said she felt some trapped energy just below my right shoulder and worked on it. I’m not sure what the trapped emotion was, but she said it led to tightness in that area and she removed it. The session lasted about 60 minutes. I was present the entire time, but was present within the energy of my being and not my mind. I felt amazing after.
Day Five-The Other Life
This was the last ceremony of the retreat. I was glad it would be the last one. I felt like I had put in a lot of work and my body and mind needed the rest from going in so deep so many times. It was another group session in the tent; the group energy was relaxed and good.
My intention was to allow the medicine to give me what I needed. It wasn’t specific, but deep down inside I know it was still to heal and grow.
I went in deep again, but this time I couldn’t bring anything back. It was as if the entire plunge into my soul was erased just as I came back to my five sensory perceptions. I know that I did go in deep because I could feel that I disappeared from my normal reality. The group also said that I was contorting my body and moaning.
I decided to take one last hit of the medicine, and this time I remembered. Again, it was a deep plunge. It was as if I was on another planet, in another body. It felt as real as being in my body here on earth. It only lasted about 5 minutes, but it seemed like I was gone for a long time.
I’m not sure if this was a trace memory from a previous reincarnation, or a future reincarnation, or something that is happening now in another universe. All I know is my soul was somewhere else, not here on earth. It was wild.
I am writing this blog two weeks after returning from Tulum and the integration and work is even more important than the work done there. The aftermath of Tepezcohuite is that I feel a deeper sense of freedom and peace. I am calmer. I am reacting to my emotions with less intensity. I am meditating and bringing myself to remember what I saw and experienced; sometimes it comes back and other times it doesn’t, but I do know that the seed has been planted within. It is now up to me to keep watering my soul’s garden of evolution.
It is up to us and us only to heal, grow and nurture our soul. We are more than what our mind tells us we are. We are part of something way deeper and way more advanced than we can even describe, or imagine. I also know that the universe, god, spirit, or whatever other name or reference you would like to use is inside of us. We are not separate from the absolute creator. We are the absolute. We can use our body to go in and discover this for ourselves. We don’t need plant medicine to discover our truth; we just need to quiet the mind and listen to our heart. That’s where our soul lives. That’s where love lives.
- Jeremy Torchinsky, Co-Founder, Chief Transformation Officer @ Zero Doubt Club